THE DOG'S BOLLOCKS

SITE BEST VIEWED AT 1280 x1024 WEARING VERY LITTLE

TO TURN OFF THE MUSIC TURN THE SOUND DOWN

ALL ADVERTS SUPPLIED FREE TO MADE - MEN

LANDLORDS/TENANTS WISHING TO RENT OUT PROPERTIES IN THE MIDLANDS

http://www.ashmore-associates.co.uk/ LICK ON THE LINK FOR DETAILS

LOOKING FOR A QUALITY GIFT FOR THE MAN, WOMAN OR GOAT IN YOUR LIFE? - EXCELLENT SELL SITE RUN BY MADE MEN - A VERITABLE ALADDIN'S CAVE OF ESOTERIC GOODIES - A CORNUCOPIA OF EXCLUSIVE GIFT IDEAS - http://www.prezzybox.com/

tIT SMACKS OF WITCHCRAFT!!

LABELS FOR THE HIRE AND SECURITY INDUSTRY

http://www.regencyscreenprint.co.uk/

"THE NEW WASHBOARD SYNCOPATORS ARE AN ESTABLISHED TRADITIONAL JAZZ BAND BASED IN THE WEST MIDLANDS WHO TRAVEL THROUGHOUT THE UK PLAYING TO A VARIETY OF AUDIENCES".

WATCH THE LADS PLAY ON YOUTUBE - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbF3FLRrKQg

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=PhU0QnJEso8

FEATURING ('THE MIGHTY') QUINN - TONY QUINN THAT IS, ON DRUMS

SITE NOW UP AND RUNNING AT

http://www.thenewwashboardsyncopators.co.uk/.

'IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE' PAGE -

THANKS TO DAVE - CLARENCE IN EVERY SENSE

'HARVEY' QUOTES - Harvey.htm

CLICK ON NURSIE OR PETE FOR THE ARCHIVE SECTION

OR ANYWHERE ON CLAUDIA FOR THE LADIES PAGE

THE LEGEND

I know what you're thinking, punk. You're thinking, 'Did he use six superfluous adjectives or only five?' To tell the truth I forgot myself in all this excitement - but as I deal in English, the most powerful language in the world with subtle nuances that may blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' Well do you punk?

SITE BORN APRIL 2005

RECENT NEWS

2\7\09 BIG BIRTHDAY FOR DAD TOMORROW - BARBECUE ON THE CARDS

CONGRATS TO THE PRESENT MRS INGRAM ON HER BIRTHDAY YESTERDAY.

UNITED MISS OUT ON BENZEMA - A REAL PISSER.

23\6 A PRETTY GOOD WEEKEND ALL TOLD. FINALLY DID A DECENT SCORE AT GOLF (FOR ME) - 12 OVER, AND THAT WAS WITH 2 7'S ON THE CARD AND A 2 SHOT PENALTY AND THE WIND WAS AGAINST ME AND I'D GOT A WEDGIE (THINK ABOUT IT..). PLAYED BRAVEHEART JIM G.THE LION OF CHUCKERY BUT THE SULTAN WAS UNABLE TO MAKE IT AGAIN (JANE IN HOSPITAL), BUT HE MANAGED TO MEET UP FOR THE SATURDAY DRINK LATER AND IT LOOKS GOOD FOR HIM PLAYING NEXT WEEK. WILL THE KAISER RESURFACE OR SLINK OFF BACK TO GERMANY WITH SO MANY QUESTIONS LEFT UNANSWERED? SCORE REMAINS 6.5 TO HIM.

GOOD LUCK TO ANDY MURRAY THIS WEEK. BAD LUCK LINDA ROBSON IN HER FIRST SENIOR WIMBLEDON.

GREAT TO SEE DAVID DUVAL FINISH SO WELL AT THE US OPEN - I WOULD KILL FOR THAT SWING. HE'S PLAYING BETTER NOW HE'S PILED A FEW POUNDS ON. MIGHT BE WORTH A FEW QUID IN THE BRITISH OPEN AT TURNBERRY - STARTS 16TH JULY.

ENGLAND UNDER 21'S IN THE SEMI FINALS OF THE EUROS- VERY IMPRESSED WITH THEM SO FAR, SEMI FINAL ON FRIDAY, FINAL NEXT MONDAY.

15\6 GOOD WIN FOR THE UNDER 21'S EARLIER DOWN TO 10 MEN. SPAIN NEXT ON THURSDAY, EVEN NURSIE IS SHOWING AN INTEREST, UNLESS IT WAS WIND. CAN'T WAIT FOR THE WORLD CUP NEXT SUMMER IT'S GOING TO BE EPIC.

AFOREMENTIONED GOLF GAME 2 WEEKENDS AGO WAS RAINED OFF - DISASTER! PLAYED SATURDAY JUST GONE THOUGH AGAINST BRAVEHEART JIM G. AT HILLTOP - PRETTY MIXED RESULT, I HAD A SUDDEN SPATE OF HAY FEVER THAT DIDN'T HELP - HAVEN'T HAD IT FOR YEARS, PLUS I WAS SHANKING ALL OVER THE PLACE MISSUS. http://golf.about.com/cs/golfterms/g/bldef_shank.htm HOPEFULLY I'LL SORT THIS OUT BEFORE THE GAME THIS COMING SATURDAY.

YOU AREN'T FIT TO LACE OUR WAYNE'S LEFT BOOT!!! ROOOONEY!!!!!!

GOODBYE YOU STUPID BOY.

4\6\09 OH WELL, LIFE GOES ON, FIRSTLY WITH A GAME AGAINST BRAVEHEART AND THE SULTAN ON SUNDAY AND ALSO THE LONG REQUESTED RETURN OF THE GOLFING TOTTY PAGE!!

GOLF TOTTY

4\6 PLAYED AGAIN WITH BRAVEHEART SINCE THEN (WITH NOT MUCH IMPROVEMENT) BUT LAST SUNDAY THE INCREDIBLE HUN RETURNED FROM GERMANY AND HE PLAYED WITH THE SULTAN OF SWANG, FRIEND TO THE STARS AND MYSELF. PLAYED BETTER THIS TIME AND CAME SECOND BUT THE SULTAN PLAYED LIKE A PRO FIRST 7 HOLES AND WAS EVEN PAR, BEATING ME BY 5 SHOTS OVERALL. SCORE 6.5 TO DETLEF, WHO..........MAY NOT PLAY AGAIN BEFORE HE RETURNS TO THE FATHERLAND FOR GOOD! AGH! ACH!

21\5\09 CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S SO LONG SINCE LAST UPDATE. I'M ON A LOSING STREAK AT GOLF - LOST THE LAST 3 GAMES, ONLY 2 OF THOSE WERE AGAINST THE MERRY HUN THOUGH BUT IT'S ENOUGH TO PUT ME 4.6 DOWN OVERALL. 'BRAVEHEART' JIM G. PLAYED THE OTHER GAME AND HE WILL BE VENTURING FORTH AGAIN SATURDAY WHILST DETLEF HOLIDAYS WITH HIS BUND.

GREAT WHAT THEY CAN DO THESE DAYS

UNITED OF COURSE CONFIRMED THEIR PREMIERSHIP TITLE WIN LAST SATURDAY AND NICE TO CELEBRATE IT IN THE SPORTS BAR WITH 'THE LADS' ALBEIT AFTER MY LATEST GOLF DEFEAT.

CHELSKI ARE TAKING IT ALL WELL

ONE VICTORY AFTER ANOTHER

26\4\09 NICE GAME AROUND HILLTOP THIS MORNING WITH DET BUT THE SULTAN COULDN'T MAKE IT AS DEB WAS GROOMING HIM. DET STARTED WELL BUT COULDN'T GET OUT OF HIS BUNKER AND IT WAS ALL DOWNHILL FROM THEN ON. I TOOK THE MATCH AND ALSO THE EXTRA POINT FOR THE LOWEST SCORE OVER THE LAST 2 GAMES. SCORE 4.3 TO ME. LONG WAY TO GO YET THOUGH.

WON'T BE OUT FRIDAY AS PLAYING SATURDAY NEXT WEEK THEN HOPEFULLY WATCHING UNITED MIDDLESBOROUGH IN TOWN. THERE IS A SLIM CHANCE 'FRIEND TO THE STARS' MAY BE BACK TO PLAY.

GREAT COMEBACK BY UNITED LAST NIGHT. I WASN'T WORRIED EVEN AT 2.0 DOWN BECAUSE I HAD FAITH. IT WAS NICE TO HEAR THE SUPPORTERS STILL BEHIND THE TEAM LOUD AND PROUD EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE LOSING. ROONEY WAS MAGNIFICENT.

GOT THE JOB DONE AGAINST PORTSMOUTH. LOOKING GOOD!

PLAYED THE ARBORETUM LAST WEEK WITH DETLEF. IT'S STILL FATED TO CLOSE IN JUNE I BELIEVE UNLESS THEY CAN FIND A BUYER. ALWAYS A NICE NOSTALGIC TRIP TO PLAY IT AND I WON TOO AS A BONUS, SCORE 3.2 TO DET. ROAST BEEF AFTERWARDS, COULD HAVE BEEN A PERFECT SUNDAY...WAY TO SPOIL MY DAY EVERTON! HOPE THEY GO ON TO WIN IT NOW.

16\4\09 WAS RATHER NERVOUSLY STRANGLING A WATER VOLE BEFORE THE UNITED PORTO GAME LAST NIGHT BUT NEEDN'T HAVE WORRIED. GREAT GOAL BY RONNY, WHO ACTUALLY TACKLED A PLAYER LAST NIGHT BUT HAD TO ROLL AROUND IN SHOCK AFTERWARDS. IT'S LIKE LOSING YOUR VIRGINITY - THEY TELL ME... EVRA WAS RATHER DISAPPOINTING BUT BERBY DID BREAK INTO A TROT AT LEAST ONCE. ROONEY WAS SUBLIME AS USUAL AND GREAT TO SEE RIO BACK ALONGSIDE VIDIC. THE TROPHIES ALL BACK ON AGAIN.

PLAYED GOLF TWICE SINCE THE LAST UPDATE, THE LAST TIME BEING ON EASTER MONDAY BEFORE A SOIREE DOWN THE TOWN. ALL THE GAMES HAVE BEEN VERY ENJOYABLE BUT I'VE LOST THE LAST 2 AND DETLEF HAS GONE INTO AN EARLY LEAD. THE SULTAN HAS ALSO PLAYED THE LAST 2 GAMES AND BEAT DETLEF AS WELL LAST TIME OUT. HE IS LOOKING OMINOUSLY COMPETENT. MAKE HAY WHILE THE SUN SHINES, THAT'S ALL I'LL SAY. I WILL RETURN. LETS BE HAVIN' YA! BRING YOUR DINNER!

PLAYING THE ARBO SUNDAY WEATHER PERMITTING ALTHOUGH IT IS STILL SCHEDULED TO CLOSE IN JUNE. HOPEFULLY THE WELSH DON WILL BUY IT AS A PLAYTHING, A TRINKET. VERY NOSTALGIC PLAYING THERE THE SCENE OF SO MANY TRIUMPHS AND DISASTERS. MOSTLY DISASTERS. ON A SERIOUS NOTE IT'S WHERE MOST PEOPLE HERE IN YAM YAM LAND GO TO PLAY GOLF FOR THE FIRST TIME. I PREDICT MASS MURDER IF BEGINNERS ALL START PLAYING THE FULL 18 HOLES FIRST TIME OUT.

ENGLAND ACHIEVED THE OBJECTIVE LAST TIME OUT ALTHOUGH THE GAME WAS SCRAPPY. BECKS TO THE RESCUE AGAIN, SETTING UP THE MOVE. HAVE I MENTIONED WE ARE GOING TO WIN THE WORLD CUP IN 2010? BEFORE THE ALIEN INVASION IN 2012.

IT'S COMING HOME.....AGAIN!!

NOW AFTER SATURDAY'S GREAT PERFORMANCE AGAINST SLOVAKIA WITH THE KING AND THE PRINCE TEAMING UP FOR A MEMORABLE GOAL IT'S TIME TO GET THE UKRAINE BY THE THROAT AND PUMMEL THEM INTO SUBMISSION. NEXT YEAR IS OUR YEAR, I'VE SAID IT BEFORE, I'LL SAY IT AGAIN AND I'LL GO ON SAYING IT TO ANYONE WHO WILL LISTEN. ENGLAND ARE THE BEST.

COME ON ENGLAND!!!!!!!!

30\3\09 FINALLY GOLF. FIRST TIME SINCE 2\11\08. COULD NEVER HAVE PREDICTED THE WEATHER! GREAT GAME. JUST EDGED IT FROM THE WILY OLD HUN DETLEF. PLAYING AGAIN NEXT SUNDAY. GREAT TO BE OUT AND AS ONE WITH NATURE AGAIN. I AM A DRYAD.

26\3\09 BATON THE HATCHES WE'RE PLAYING GOLF SUNDAY. WITH DETLEF MOVING BACK TO THE FATHERLAND IN JULY IT HAS TO BE DONE. OF COURSE SINCE WE DECIDED TO PLAY WE INITIALLY HAD A MINI HEAT WAVE LAST WEEKEND BUT THIS WEEKEND LOOKS SOMEWHAT DIFFERENT....

WILL THIS BE US?

UNITED MAKING IT MORE INTERESTING AT THE TOP OF THE PREMIERSHIP. FRIEND TO THE STARS RECKONS IT'S FERGIE MIND GAMES. AFTER THEIR PLUCKY DISPLAY AGAINST THE SCOUSERS I THINK WE OWE IT TO VILLA TO GIVE THEM A GOOD STUFFING. BUT...IT'S ENGLAND FIRST AND FOREMOST WITH ME AS ALWAYS AND LETS HOPE WE HUMBLE THE MIGHTY FOOTBALLING COUNTRY OF SLOVAKIA IN THE FRIENDLY ON SATURDAY. HERE'S TO A HAT TRICK FROM 'CRAZY MAN' ROONEY.

http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,12098_5101979,00.html

SAD GEORGE HAS LEFT THE PAPER. HOPEFULLY IT WILL DECLINE NOW.

19\3\09 ST PATRICK'S DAY PICS BELOW. SADLY PAUL THE MAN WAS ILL AND COULDN'T MAKE IT BUT SCOTTISH JIM MADE THE DAY BY 1) SPONTANEOUSLY BREAKING INTO WILD ROVER IN A DEATHLY QUIET IRISH BAR AND GETTING EVERYONE TO SING ALONG AND 2) MANAGING TO GET US ALL A GUINNESS HAT TO ADD TO MY VAST COLLECTION WHEN THE CAUSE SEEMED ALL BUT LOST.

16\3 SO ANYWAY - ST PATS TOMORROW - SEE YOU THEN.

16\3 Slightly got that wrong them. Totally outplayed. Even if we win all 5 trophies it's soured things somewhat. Still..had a good day out Saturday despite it, like old times with virtually everyone out.

12\3 QUINTUPLE STILL ON. WISH I'D HAD SOME CASH TO STICK ON THE LADS EARLIER IN THE SEASON. I WILL BE WATCHING US CRUSH LIVERPOOL SATURDAY. ALL WELCOME.

IT'S OFFICIAL - THE WELSH DON NOW CHANGES HIS PHONE NUMBER MORE OFTEN THAN HIS UNDERPANTS.

5\3\09 PUT THE ST GUINNESS DAY DECS UP ON THE SITE (NOT BEFORE TIME)

LOOKING FORWARD TO IT ALREADY.

14\2\09 NURSIE GOT BURGLED LAST NIGHT AND HIS MOBILE PHONE WAS ONE OF THE THINGS STOLEN - SO DON'T TEXT HIM.

I FINALLY MANAGED TO GET HOLD OF ALL 3 SEASONS OF 'MILLENNIUM' ON DVD FOR CHRISTMAS AND I'VE JUST FINISHED WATCHING THEM BACK TO BACK - ABSOLUTELY SUPERB. TRAGIC THEY ONLY MADE THE 3.

http://millennium-thisiswhoweare.net/

CADBURYS EYEBROWS ADVERT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVblWq3tDwY&feature=related

3\2 FINALLY WATCHED THE NEW JONATHAN CREEK EPISODE FROM NEW YEARS DAY 'THE GRINNING MAN'- EXCELLENT AND SHERIDAN SMITH FITTED IN NICELY. LETS HOPE FOR A 5TH SERIES.

http://www.jonathancreek.net/

ENJOYED GEORGE'S BIRTHDAY DRINK FRIDAY. PUB SEEMS FINE AND THE FOOD (COURTESY OF DEB) WAS SCRUMPTIOUS.

THIS WILL BE INCOMPREHENSIBLE TO SOME PEOPLE - http://www.thebloxidgetallygraph.com/

26\1 MANAGED TO CATCH UP (AND ALSO WITH 'HEROES') BEFORE THE UK PREMIER OF 'LOST' LAST NIGHT. IT'S PARTLY FILLED THE GAP LEFT BY THE X-FILES FOR ME.

WHO WAS THE WOMAN AT THE END?

http://lostpedia.wikia.com/wiki/Ms._Hawking

20/1 'LOST' SEASON 5 STARTS TOMORROW (IN THE USA) - I STILL HAVEN'T WATCHED THE LAST 4 EPISODES OF SEASON 4 SO I'D BETTER GET THE PARACETEMOL OUT AND GET A MOVE ON.

UNITED REMAIN TOP AS UNINSPIRED 'POOL CAN ONLY DRAW AGAINST GUTSY TOFFEES.

CITY LOOK LIKE PLANKS OVER KAKA DEBACLE

DON'T ASK ME ABOUT CITY - THERE'S ONLY ONE TEAM IN MANCHESTER SAYS THE GOD BECKHAM.

ONLY JUST FOUND OUT THERE MAY BE A FOURTH FILM IN THE SCREAM SERIES - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scream_4#Scream_4_.282009.29

17/1 PAUL THE MAN'S BIRTHDAY YESTERDAY. ANOTHER YEAR HE HAS CONFOUNDED THE EXPERTS

16/1 BUOYED UP BY BEING OUR 1,000,000TH VISITOR, NICE GUY SIMON HAS DECIDED TO HAVE A BIRTHDAY TOMORROW. SIMON IS THE KIND OF CHAP YOU WOULD PASS IN THE STREET AND APART FROM THINKING HE LOOKED LIKE TOM CRUISE, NEVER GIVE A PASSING GLANCE. BUT IF NOT FOR SIMON AND THE DOZENS WHO ASPIRE TO DO THE JOB HE DOES OUR MANY PEOPLES LIVES WOULD CERTAINLY ALTER DRASTICALLY......MAYBE FOR THE BETTER....WE DON'T KNOW..... BUT WE ARE CERTAINLY ALL THE RICHER FOR HIS PRESENCE! HAPPY 28TH BIRTHDAY SIMON!!!!! FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT.

THANK GOD FOR VIDIC - WHAT A FANTASTIC DEFENDER!

HERE'S A GREAT SITE I'VE MISSED - http://arbogastonfilm.blogspot.com/ - HE MENTIONS THE BOB HOPE / PAULETTE GODDARD FILMS 'CAT AND THE CANARY' AND 'THE GHOST BREAKERS' ON THE FIRST PAGE BOTH OF WHICH I IMPORTED FROM THE USA SEVERAL YEARS AGO. HE ALSO HAS SOME GOOD JILL ST JOHN (DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER?) PICS HERE - http://arbogastonfilm.blogspot.com/2008/06/gratuitous-jill-st-john-post.html

FACES OF MADNESS

KEEGAN RANT - http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=nW8p8xppxwA

BENITEZ QUIETLY GOES MAD - http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=8Dr-Gg8NxO4

CAINE MUTINY - BOGIE CRACKS UP OVER THE STRAWBERRIES - http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=3zgeQmzV9kk&feature=related

12/1/09 CHELSEA WERE VANQUISHED YESTERDAY BY THE CHAMPIONS OF ENGLAND, EUROPE AND THE WORLD, SO IT SHOULD BE A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR.......

NURSIE! - 63 TODAY!!!

PROGRAMS FROM HIS YOUTH

THE FLASHING BLADE TITLES - http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=z-ZEDNkZ2L4&feature=related

WHITE HORSES TITLES - http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=iR6z8GUywyc

BELLE AND SEBASTIAN TITLES - http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=l_9BLzO-J0Y&feature=related

70'S AND 80'S KID'S TV SHOW COMPILATION - http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=z-ZEDNkZ2L4&feature=related

WELCOME TO OUR 1,000,000TH VISITOR - SIMON!!!

NOW VILLA HAVE SECURED AT LEAST 4TH PLACE AND THE ALSO - RANS ARE OUT OF THE WAY AND IT'S A STRAIGHT FIGHT BETWEEN US AND THE POOL, IN THE SPIRIT OF FAIRNESS I HOPE THEIR CAPTAIN GETS OFF WITH PROBATION AND THEIR MANAGER RECOVERS SOON FROM HIS BREAKDOWN.

DID UNITED JUST BLOW THE QUINTUPLE AGAINST DERBY?

7/1/09 ALL OVER FOR ANOTHER YEAR, ALTHOUGH I DID BUY MY CHRISTMAS WRAPPING PAPER TODAY. HAVE I A PROBLEM? WE HAD A GREAT CHRISTMAS AGAIN THIS YEAR AND I HOPE YOU ALL DID TOO.

DRINK FOR NURSIE'S BIRTHDAY THIS FRIDAY 6.30 IN THE DON'S DEN.

BEST WISHES TO JOHN T. WHO IS RECOVERING FROM 2 STROKES HE HAD JUST BEFORE CHRISTMAS.

BEST WISHES TO JIM G. WHO HAD A BITCH OF A YEAR LAST YEAR - HERE'S TO A GREAT 2009.

FINALLY MANAGED TO BUY THE LONE GUNMEN DVD FOR CHRISTMAS (EBAY) - ONLY WATCHED THE PILOT AND THE FIRST 3 EPISODES SO FAR BUT CAN'T SEE WHY THE HELL IT WAS CANCELLED SO EARLY.

APART FROM THE FACT IT PREDICTED 9/11 OF COURSE.

http://www.thewebfairy.com/killtown/lonegunmen.html

THERE MAY BE A THIRD X-FILES FILM! http://screenrant.com/x-files-3-movie-niall-3969/

23/12 - UNEXPECTED DRINK LAST NIGHT MANAGED TO MEET UP WITH A LOT OF FRIENDS AND GREAT SURPRISE TO RUN ITO JULIE W (TALK ABOUT A HUG - FEST!) FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2005 - IF NOT FOR JIM G I WOULD HAVE LEFT BY THE TIME SHE CAME IN. SANTA IS A SCOT! LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING THE WELSH DON AND FRIEND TO THE STARS TOMORROW AMONGST MANY OTHERS, IF IT'S HALF AS GOOD AS LAST NIGHT I WILL BE WELL PLEASED. NURSIE CAN'T GET OUT AND PETE WONT BE GETTING TO HIS MOM'S TILL 10PMISH. THEY WILL BE SADLY MISSED.

SADLY JOHN T IN HOSPITAL HAVING HAD A COUPLE OF STROKES. THERES ALWAYS SOMETHING THAT HAPPENS AT CHRISTMAS.

THE HOUSE IN THE VILLAGE HAS REALLY LIT UP NOW! WELL DONE THAT MAN.

8\12 THE MIGHTY QUINN TELLS ME HE AND THE BOYS HAVE ANOTHER TRACK ON YOUTUBE - HERE IT IS

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=PhU0QnJEso8

WRAPPED THE PRESENTS LAST NIGHT - THINK THAT'S MY FAVOURITE TIME OF CHRISTMAS WITH CHRISTMAS EVE A CLOSE SECOND.

LOOKING FORWARD TO FRIDAY AS NOT OUT FOR THE LAST ONE. JIM G. HOPEFULLY MAKING AN APPEARANCE. IT PROMISES TO BE A CLASSIC.

THIS IS THE KIND OF OBSESSIVE GENIUS I ADMIRE - THIS GUY HAS REVIEWED PROGRAMS TRANSMITTED ON A CHRISTMAS DAY FOR THE PAST GOD KNOWS HOW MANY YEARS. DO ANY RING A BELL? SALUTE HIM!

http://www.offthetelly.co.uk/features/christmas/logs/1990.htm

IMAGINE MY CHAGRIN AS I SAW TODAY THAT WE'VE GOT THE SAME STUPID 'TREE' IN THE TOWN CENTRE AS LAST YEAR. WE WANT SPRUCE!!!

THEY ARE THINKING OF CANCELLING THE ILLUMINATIONS NEXT YEAR AS THE TURN OUT WAS POOR AS WE ARE IN A RECESSION AND THEY ARE CHARGING TOO MUCH TO GET IN. DROP THE PRICE YOU IDIOTS. DOES ANYONE WHO WORKS AT THE COUNCIL EXCEPT FOR THE SULTAN HAVE ANY BRAINS AT ALL??

UNITED CONTINUE TO PROGRESS IN CHAMPIONS LEAGUE. THAT WAS A LEG BREAKER AGAINST RONALDO LAST NIGHT - RED CARD TOTALLY JUSTIFIED DESPITE WHAT INANE COMMENTATORS ON ITV SAID. STAN COLLYMORE ON TALKSPORT GOT IT RIGHT AMAZINGLY.

UNITED LUCKY TO DRAW AGAINST VILLA AT THE WEEKEND.

JON GAUNT SACKED FROM TALKSPORT - I WILL MISS THE PILLOCK.

KATY PERRY SITE - LISTEN TO 'HOT AND COLD'

http://www.katyperry.com/

OVERHEARD BY MYSELF ON TALKSPORT THIS EVENING FOLLOWING AN ONLINE QUIZ..."WHAT SIZE ARE YOU IN A T-SHIRT? ANSWER "I'M A HEAD TEACHER AT A LOCAL PRIMARY SCHOOL"

IT'S NOVEMBER AND THE HOUSE IN THE VILLAGE STILL HASN'T GOT IT'S CHRISTMAS DECS UP! I FEARED SOME FAMILY TRAGEDY BUT I SAW THE OWNER TODAY AND TOLD HIM HOW MUCH THEY CHEER US ALL UP AND HE TELLS ME ALTHOUGH THEY ARE A BIT BEHIND THIS YEAR WE WONT HAVE LONG TO WAIT.

IT'S 11\11 - NICELY OBSERVED SILENCE AT WORK TODAY AND ONCE AGAIN A GREAT TURNOUT AT THE CENOTAPH SUNDAY.

GREAT TO SEE JIM G AND REPORTER GEORGE FRIDAY. A PLEASURE TO INTRODUCE 2 INTELLECTUALS.

HARRY REDKNAPP IS AMAZING. ANOTHER WIN FOR SPURS TODAY. I'M HAPPY WITH CAPELLO NOW BUT WHY IN THE NAME OF ZEUS' BELLYBUTTON COULD WE NOT HAVE HAD HIM AS ENGLAND MANAGER INSTEAD OF THE TRAITOR STEVE McCLAREN?

REGARDING UNITED ARSENAL - LET THE BABY HAVE IT'S BOTTLE - BY THE TIME WE PLAY THEM AT HOME IN MAY THE LEAGUE WILL BE WON AND THEY WILL HAVE WON NOTHING AGAIN. I PREDICT 9.1 TO US.

6/11 SOON BE CHRISTMAS AND ALREADY LOOKING FORWARD TO THE CHRISTMAS EVE GET TOGETHER ALTHOUGH NO SULTAN THIS YEAR WHICH IS A DISAPPOINTMENT AS HE'S OFF SOMEWHERE EXOTIC.

LITTLETON TREVOR HAS JOINED ME IN HELL ON A THURSDAY.

OUR COLONY DONE GOOD.

STILL BUZZING AFTER SCOTLAND TRIP - ANOTHER PIC OF DIRTY DICK'S (ABOVE) AND LOOKING ACROSS THE COBBLED STREETS TO DEACON BRODIE'S TAVERN (BELOW)

CONGRATULATIONS TO SKY TO BE THE FIRST UK COMPANY TO OFFER GENUINELY UNLIMITED BROADBAND - ALBEIT ONLY ON THEIR MAX PACKAGE. WHEN MY PRESENT CONTRACT WITH ENDS I WILL BE MAKING THE MOVE. THANKS TO THE LOVELY SUZIE PERRY FOR MAKING ME AWARE OF THAT THROUGH CHANNEL 5'S 'GADGET SHOW'. SOUNDS LIKE AN OPPORTUNITY FOR A PIC OF OUR SUZE.

3/11 SURELY SANITY WILL PREVAIL AND OBAMA WILL GET IN. THE THOUGHT OF THAT PIG LIPSTICK WOMAN WITH HER FINGER ON THE BUTTON IS SOMEWHAT UNSETTLING.

CONGRATS TO LEWIS. PREDICTABLY WITHIN SECONDS OF THE WIN THE GREAT BRITISH UNWASHED WERE TRYING TO EXCUSE / EXPLAIN AWAY HIS WIN AS USUAL. WHAT THE FECK IS WRONG WITH A WINNER???? IT'S FALDO ALL OVER AGAIN! GIBBER GIBBER. BREATH IS WASTED ON THESE SCUM.

FRIEND TO THE STARS WAS UP FOR GOLF ON SUNDAY - HE WAS A WORTHY WINNER. PLAYED PYPE HAYES WHEN I PHONED BOLDMERE AND FOUND OUT IT HAD 18 TEMPS! ONLY 1 AT PYPE HAYES AND THE RAIN HELD OFF. DETLEF REVEALED HE IS DEFINITELY RETURNING TO THE FATHERLAND NEXT YEAR.

GREAT HALLOWEEN THIS YEAR. REALLY ENJOYED IT.

I HAVE RETURNED FROM MY SCOTLAND TRIP - AND WONDROUS IT WAS.

THE DON IN 'FRANKENSTEINS'

THE DON IN 'DIRTY DICKS'

THE DON PLAYFULLY PRETENDING TO VOMIT OVER THE HEART OF MIDLOTHIAN 'SPITTING STONE'

THE DON'S BELOVED BRAID HILLS - PLAYED IT DAY AFTER I ARRIVED.

WHO WOULD BE A CLEANER AT THE AMAZING 'DIRTY DICKS' - NOTE THE GOLF CLUBS ON CEILING

AND MANAGED A COUPLE OF TRIPS TO THE SEASIDE!

AS USUAL I'VE STARTED MY ORGY OF HORROR FILM WATCHING LEADING UP TO HALLOWEEN. HERE ARE SOME IDEAS OTHERS HAVE HAD ON THE BEST SELECTION.

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=676625

http://blogs.ign.com/Horror_Brain/2006/10/27/35083/

SLEEPY HOLLOW AND BLAIR WITCH WILL BE TWO I SHALL DEFINITELY WATCH AROUND THE ACTUAL DAY. 'THE WOMAN IN BLACK' IS ONE OF THE SCARIEST FILMS I'VE EVER SEEN BUT BEING BY M.R JAMES http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M._R._James I WOULD CLASS IT AS A GHOST STORY FOR CHRISTMAS RATHER THAN HALLOWEEN. THE ORIGINAL VERSION OF 'THE HAUNTING' IS ANOTHER TIMELESS CLASSIC THAT STILL PACKS A PUNCH http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0057129/ AND IT CAN CURRENTLY BE PICKED UP AT PLAY.COM FOR A SONG.

5\10 HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY TO MY NEPHEW MATT!!

29\9 NICE TO GET UP THE BRICKS LAST FRIDAY - SHAME NO GUINNESS BUT A NICE STOUT NEARLY MADE UP.

RONALDO DIDN'T DIVE BUT IT SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN A PENALTY.

NICE GOAL BY ROONEY.

HOPEFULLY GOLF THIS WEEKEND - LAST TIME FOR AWHILE OWING TO SCOTLAND TRIP. BE GOOD IF WE ALL MAKE IT.

FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON HERE'S A PIC OF VIRGINIA MADSEN.

NICK FALDO (ON THE LEFT). THE MAN, THE GOLFING GOD, THE PRESS' WHIPPING BOY. THE PRESS HATE A WINNER AND THE BIGGER A WINNER YOU ARE - THE WORSE IT GETS.

THE TRUTH ABOUT OUR GREATEST EVER GOLFER - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nick_Faldo .

NICE PIC OF EX BROOKSIDE ACTRESS JUSTINE KERRIGAN (TRACY CORKHILL). I WAS A FAN.

THE LEGEND THAT IS NURSIE PICTURED YESTERDAY COUNTING HIS CASH. COOL SHIRT.

THOUGH IT PAINS ME TO SAY IT UNITED LOST TO THE BETTER TEAM YESTERDAY, SADLY.

NO GOLF THIS WEEKEND I'D TRIED TO ORGANISE A GAME WITH DETLEF THE SULTAN AND CURLY BUT I THINK THE ARBO WOULD HAVE BEEN PRETTY BOGGY TOMORROW AFTER THE WEEK WE'VE HAD.

HOPEFULLY WATCHING SCOUSERS V UNITED IN TOWN TOMORROW SO NOT OUT TONIGHT.

FRIEND TO THE STARS IS IN EDINBURGH TODAY AND PLAYED THE BRAID HILLS ON MY RECOMMENDATION. RECEIVED THE MESSAGE BELOW.

"beautiful day here above Edinburgh - really wish you were here chum"

IT SHOULD BE ME!!!

HE'S OFF TO 'THE WITCHERY' RESTAURANT BY THE CASTLE TONIGHT WHERE I'VE DINED TWICE IN BETTER TIMES.

MY FRIEND GRIFF - DON FOR THE HATHERTON AND SURROUNDING 5 YARDS. PERHAPS I SHOULD SUE.

WELL DONE ANDY MURRAY IN GETTING TO THE US OPEN FINAL– AS I PREDICTED. HE’S ONLY UNAPPRECIATED BY THE SAME IDIOTS WHO WANTED TO SEE NICK FALDO LAUGH HIS WAY ROUND THE GOLF COURSE.

7\9\08 ENGLAND 4 REST OF WORLD 3. GREAT TO SEE SHEARER AND SHERRINGHAM PLAYING AGAIN.

KNEW KHAN WOULD LOSE THE FIGHT - SAW A PIECE ON HIS OPPONENT IN THE WEEK - HE WANTED IT MORE. WISH I'D HAD SOME DOSH TO STICK ON IT, AS WITH MURRAY.

HOPE MURRAY WON'T LOSE OUT A LA HENMAN OWING TO RAIN DELAY. HE IS PLAYING INCREDIBLY WELL.

THE WELSH DON WAS HEAVILY DELAYED BY THE RAIN ON FRIDAY SO WE DIDN'T GET TO MEET UP. IT'LL HAPPEN BEFORE CHRISTMAS HOPEFULLY. STILL, GREAT TIME IN FLANS AND THE FOUNTAIN FRIDAY AFTERNOON.

TODAY'S GOLF HAD TO BE CALLED OFF AS DET WAS ILL AND ROB WOULDN'T HAVE HAD CHANCE TO DRIVE FROM LONDON AND PICK ME UP AS WELL. I WOULD IMAGINE THE COURSE WOULD HAVE BEEN SODDEN ANYWAY.

HOPEFULLY GOLF NEXT SATURDAY AM ON THE 9 HOLE BEFORE WATCHING THE BERBY HAT-TRICK AGAINST THE SCOUSERS, WHO SEEM TO WANT TO SET UP THEIR OWN COUNTRY.

http://www.tonybarrett.merseyblogs.co.uk/2007/07/why_i_hate_england.html

4\9\08 MANAGED TO GET IN TOUCH WITH GAZSTER AGAIN TODAY. HOPE TO MEET UP WITH HIM SOON.

SMOKE ME A KIPPER! RETURN OF RED DWARF???

http://ukpress.google.com/article/ALeqM5i86wCBBiD6nRYTaXnvW3y95lI1Nw

SAD TIMES AT NEWCASTLE. THE END OF THE KEEGAN DREAM. WISE OUT!!

IF JESUS CHRIST TOOK UP FOOTBALL MANAGEMENT WOULD HE GET IN AT WEST HAM?

OH YES - CHRISTMAS HAS COME EARLY.

POSSIBLE WELSH DON ALERT FOR THIS FRIDAY - WATCH THIS SPACE - THERE HAVE BEEN MANY FALSE DAWNS

LOOKS LIKE JUST THE HUN AND I FOR HATCHFORD BROOK GOLF THIS SUNDAY. NOT BEEN THERE FOR A WHILE, DON'T THINK WE EVEN WENT LAST YEAR. NEWSFLASH! - 'FRIEND TO THE STARS' CONTEMPLATING IT.

MAN CITY ON THE TOP 4? THAT WILL PROBABLY BE FOLLOWED BY PLAGUES OF FROGS AND LOCUSTS. MIND YOU I SUPPOSE THE SCOUSERS WOULD JUST LOVE 2 MANC TEAMS ABOVE THEM.......EVERY CLOUD HAS A SILVER LINING.

1\9 QUICK KNOCK AROUND THE ARBO 9 HOLE YESTERDAY (SUNDAY AM) WITH LUCA - REALLY, REALLY ENJOYED IT - GREAT TO PLAY THERE AFTER SO LONG AS ITS WHERE I FIRST USED TO PLAY IN THE EARLY 90'S IN THOSE INNOCENT DAYS OF YORE. GREENS IN GOOD SHAPE.

THIS SHROPSHIRE HOUSE FIRE / MURDER IS SADLY COMPELLING. WILL WE EVER KNOW THE TRUTH FOR SURE?

27\8 WELL, I TRIUMPHED OVER GERMANY'S FAVOURITE SON ON SUNDAY BUT THAT'S ABOUT ALL I'LL SAY. AFTER 9 HOLES I DITCHED THE LATEST EDITION 'NOODLE' BALLS AND INSTANTLY GAINED DISTANCE.... - ON MY PUTTS! THEY SUDDENLY WERE IN DANGER OF REACHING THE HOLE AND MY SCORES IMPROVED. EXIT NOODLES, SONS OF BEELZEBUB. I ACTUALLY FOUND AN EARLIER EDITION OF THEM DURING ONE OF MY FREQUENT TRIPS TO THE FOLIAGE (NOT DOGGING) AND THAT'S THE ONE I USED FOR THE REST OF THE ROUND - A TOTALLY DIFFERENT, LIVELY FEEL OFF THE FACE TO IT. WHY CAN'T THEY LEAVE WELL ALONE? COME THE REVOLUTION GOLF BALL MANUFACTURERS WILL BE FIRST AGAINST THE WALL.

MET UP WITH KEITH W. IN KATZ AND THEN LUCA IN TOWN ON MONDAY FOR A COUPLE OF PINTS, WHICH WAS VERY PLEASANT, ALTHOUGH TOWN VERY QUIET.

I WAS SUPPOSED TO PLAY JIM G. FIRST IN ARBOR BUT I WAS ALREADY GOING TO BE A BIT PUSHED FOR TIME - MAJOR EMERGENCY WORKS AT HOME AT THE MOMENT (LEAKING CEILING OWING TO PLUMBING). I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MAKING IT EASIER FOR THE PLUMBER TO GAIN ACCESS AND GENERALLY TIDYING UP. UNFORTUNATELY WHEN I DREW THE BEDROOM CURTAINS THE NIGHT BEFORE, THE ENTIRE CURTAIN POLE AVEC CURTAINS RIPPED OUT OF THE WALL AND FELL ON ME. FORTUNATELY NO FOOTAGE EXISTS OF THIS EVENT OR RECORDING OF WHAT I SAID AT THE TIME - ALTHOUGH ALL THE BIRDS FLEW OUT OF THE TREES FOR A RADIUS OF 2 MILES AND SEVERAL BABIES WILL BE BORN PREMATURELY.

NURSIE SUDDENLY HAS MAJOR PROBLEMS WITH HIS FANGS - HAVING HOSPITAL TREATMENT TOMORROW - GOOD LUCK MATE!

WENT TO THE ARCHIVE SECTION THE OTHER DAY THE WAY WE WERE AND BUGGER ME, IT HAD TOTALLY DISAPPEARED. MAY HAVE BEEN THAT WAY FOR SEVERAL DAYS AS GOOGLE HADN'T EVEN CACHED IT. THINK I'VE PIECED IT BACK TOGETHER AGAIN BUT I THINK SOME STUFF I'D RECENTLY MOVED THERE HAS GONE FOREVER. ONE CAN ONLY IMAGINE WHAT A LOSS THAT MUST BE TO YOU ALL.

23\8\08 JUST MYSELF AND THE INCREDIBLE HUN PLAYING AN EARLY ROUND AT BRANDHALL TOMORROW, THE COUSINS HAVING WITHDRAWN AGAIN, THE SULTAN HAVING SUDDENLY REALISED ONE OF HIS GRANDCHILDREN IS BEING CHRISTENED. HOPEFULLY ALSO HAVING A KNOCK ROUND THE ARBORETUM (FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS) ON MONDAY WITH JIM G. FOLLOWED BY HOPEFULLY MEETING LUCA IN TOWN FOR COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF CHILLED CREAMY GUINNESS.

PAUL THE MAN A NO SHOW YESTERDAY AFTER MY INTELLIGENCE SERVICE TELL ME HE WAS FLOATING ROUND THE CEILING OF VARIOUS PUBS ON THURSDAY NIGHT. HE DID SEND 'THE HAT' TO MEET ME THOUGH, WHICH WAS A PLEASURE AS ALWAYS.

WHAT A GREAT OLYMPICS. FINALLY WE LIVE UP TO OUR POTENTIAL AND CRUSH GERMANY AND AUSTRALIA. BODES WELL FOR 2012 AND SHOWS WHAT FINANCIAL INVESTMENT CAN DO. SO WHY ARE THE FOOTBALL TEAM SO CRAP?

HERO'S ZEROS

14/8 HAPPY WEDDING ANNIVERSARY MOM AND DAD!!

12\8 ENJOYABLE MORNINGS GOLF WITH 'FRIEND TO THE STARS' ON SUNDAY ALTHOUGH WE BOTH PLAYED DISASTROUSLY BADLY. THE GOLFING GODS HAVE A WAY OF STRIKING YOU DOWN OCCASIONALLY IF A GLIMMER OF CONFIDENCE APPEARS IN YOUR GAME.

LUCA SAYS HE IS "99.9% SURE HE IS OUT FOR A PINT OR 6 ON FRIDAY. NOW I'M REALLY WORRIED.

JIM G. IS CURRENTLY TOURING BRITAIN FOR 2 WEEKS WITH HIS LADY FAIR.

HOPEFULLY DETLEF WILL BE BACK FOR GOLF WEEKEND AFTER NEXT.

5\8 ENJOYED MY BRIEF VISIT TO BLOXWICH SATURDAY ALTHOUGH JOHN T. DIDN'T SHOW. MET UP WITH THE USUAL CROWD IN WALSALL LATER PLUS NURSIE WHO MADE AN UNSCHEDULED BUT WELCOME APPEARANCE.

DETLEF IS STILL ON HOLIDAY IN HIS BUNKER COMPLEX, THE SULTAN DEFINITELY CAN'T PLAY SUNDAY (BUT LUCA HAS YET TO CANCEL). SPLENDIDLY THE 'FRIEND TO THE STARS' IS COMING UP TO SHOW OFF HIS NEW IPHONE, HIS LITTLE LOB WEDGE POLISHED, FOR WHAT MUST BE HIS FIRST GAME WITH US FOR OVER A YEAR? I'LL HAVE TO CHECK THE ARCHIVES. LITTLE NOTICE TO GET THE TOWN IN SHAPE FOR HIS VISIT, HE WILL JUST HAVE TO TAKE US AS HE FINDS US LIKE ALL THE NO TAILS.

'FRIEND TO THE STARS' CIRCA 1999. SUPPLY YOUR OWN CAPTION.

VERY MUCH ENJOYED WATCHING THE FIRST SEASON OF 'THRILLER' - HERE'S A STILL SHOWING THAT A COUPLE OF ACTORS HAVE SINCE LEARNED 'NEW TRICKS'. PLUS SINEAD CUSACK BEING A BABE.

I'M LIKEE VELLY MUCH THE BBC'S OLYMPICS ADVERT - USED TO WATCH MONKEY ON A FRIDAY NIGHT WITH A CHINESE.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/olympics/monkey/7521287.stm

THINGS ARE GOING SO WELL FOR ME RECENTLY I'VE BEEN CONSIDERING ALL OPTIONS, INCLUDING THE FRENCH FOREIGN LEGION. I THINK THE FIRST ITEM ON THIS LIST OF THINGS TO BRING WITH YOU IS A HOOT!

http://www.foreignlegionlife.com/chapter1.htm#whattotake

STILL SORTING THINGS OUT A BIT SINCE CHANGE OF PROVIDERS. YOU CAN NOW REACH ME AGAIN THROUGH THIS SITE SHOULD WE LOSE TOUCH USING THE LINK BELOW

IMADICKIVELOSTYOUREMAILADDRESS@CHRISTHEDON.COM

SCOTTISH PETE CAN'T MAKE THE CARNIVAL. IT WILL STILL BE HELD. THERE ARE NO HARD FEELINGS.

JUST WATCHING THE FIRST SERIES OF 'THRILLER' AGAIN FROM THE 70'S AS I STICK THESE PINS INTO PETE'S EFFIGY

........ANYHOO! - ANYONE REMEMBER THRILLER?

Thriller (UK TV series) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

28\7 GREAT DAY IN THE SUNSHINE AT BOLDMERE YESTERDAY WITH THE SULTAN. I WAS FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO WIN BUT WE BOTH PLAYED SOME GOOD GOLF. NICE QUICK PINT AFTERWARDS. NEXT PLANNED GAME WILL BE IN A FORTNIGHTS TIME ALTHOUGH THE SULTAN IS DOUBTFUL AND DETLEF IS STILL AWAY. I'VE REALLY GOT MY APPETITE BACK FOR THE GAME AND WOULD PLAY EVERY DAY IF I COULD. SEE - MY NEW 'NOODLE' BALLS ARE 10 YARDS LONGER AND 29% SOFTER - COUNT IT - 29% - IT SAYS SO ON THE BOX. IT MUST BE TRUE.

USE YOUR NOODLE - JOIN THE REVOLUTION

http://www.votenoodle.com/

24\7 as the site was off air yesterday - belated birthday greetings to welsh don dave elliot. i had a minor celebration in his absence including popping in the lynden - being one of his favourite haunts. ran into matt of katz and flans fame - nice to find mary from the bricks is alive and up in arms! - where we joined her briefly.

luca can't make golf sunday but the sultan hopefully can.

ENJOYED WATCHING BURN UP ON BBC2 LAST NIGHT - AND QUITE A TREAT TO SEE SUCCULENT SCREAM ACTRESS NEVE CAMPBELL APPEARING IN IT.

PIC I RECEIVED FROM 'FRIEND TO THE STARS' OF HIM PRETENDING TO HOLD UP SOME TOWER SOMEWHERE......BLESS.

21/7 SO ALL THE 'LONG TERM' UNEMPLOYED ARE GOING TO PICK UP LITTER AND CLEAN GRAFFITI. THAT WILL BE EASY TO ORGANISE - BY FARMING IT OUT. I CAN TELL YOU EVEN THE BENEFIT CLERKS ARE WORRIED ABOUT REDUNDANCY NOW. MIND YOU, I DON'T KNOW ANYONE WHO ISN'T - AND IT'S HAPPENED TO 3 PEOPLE I KNOW RECENTLY AND ONE WAS A REAL SHOCK. SO MORE AND MORE PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BE UNEMPLOYED LETS TREAT THEM ALL REALLY BADLY. WHY NOT SIMPLY TRANSPORT THEM ALL TO BOTANY BAY OR HAVE THEM PUBLICLY FLOGGED. THIS GOVERNMENT HAS LOST IT. EVEN THE CONSERVATIVES ARE AGREEING WITH THEM.

21/7 NICE WEEKEND - NICE TO SEE GEORGE AND DEBBIE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN AGES ON FRIDAY - LIKEWISE ALEC AND LYNDA AND NEWCASTLE AND JULIE. I BARBECUED IAN ON SATURDAY MORNING (ALBEIT UNDER AN UMBRELLA FOR PART OF THE TIME) AND BARBECUED MY SISTER AND FAMILY ON THE EVENING ON THEIR RETURN FROM HOLIDAY. VERY NICE.

VERY ENJOYABLE GAME AT CALDERFIELDS YESTERDAY WITH 'BRAVEHEART' JIM G. MY FIRST TIME THERE FOR AT LEAST 3 YEARS. I PLAYED PRETTY WELL TEE TO GREEN BUT 3 8'S DIDN'T HELP MY SCORE. I DID HOWEVER PUT IN THE PUTT BELOW FOR A BIRDIE ON THE DOGLEG LEFT 3RD HOLE - MY FINEST HOUR. SADLY NO FOOTAGE EXISTS OF JIM'S 50 YARD CHIP IN ON THE 9TH, PROMPTING HIM TO WHIP OUT HIS BAGPIPES AND PLAY 'FLOWER OF SCOTLAND'. NICE PINT OF ICE COLD GUINNESS AND COMPLIMENTARY COB (WISH ALL MY FOOD COULD BE THAT POLITE) IN THE CLUBHOUSE LATER. SADLY I CAN ONLY AWARD A SCORE OF 9 OUT OF 10 AS THEY DIDN'T SELL CIGARS AND THEY ALLOWED WOMEN IN THE CLUBHOUSE. (SERVING WENCHES ARE OK).

THE IDIOT CHILD RONALDO ENCOUNTERS SOME SLIGHT SWELLING AFTER HIS ANKLE OPERATION. THIS MATCHES THE SWELLING OF HIS HEAD. THE PRAT.

13/7 JUST THE KAISER AND I PLAYED YESTERDAY (THE SULTAN JOINING LUCA AS A LATE WITHDRAWAL). I WON BY JUST 1 SHOT. I HOLED A BUNKER SHOT ON THE FIRST BUT UNFORTUNATELY I WAS 3 OFF THE TEE - LOSING A BALL WITH MY VERY FIRST SHOT. ALWAYS A GAME COMPETITOR THE KAISER HIT THE FLAG WITH HIS TEE SHOT ON THE 9TH. SADLY THERE WILL BE NO GOLF FOR 6 WEEKS WHILE THE INCREDIBLE HUN HOLIDAYS AT MOUNT THUNDER HIS BALKAN MOUNTAIN RETREAT PLOTTING WAR AND FAMINE AND PRACTICING HIS LOB SHOTS.

NICE TO MEET UP WITH PAUL THE MAN LATER AFTER HAVING HAD A DRINK WITH KEITH W. CAUGHT UP WITH THE SULTAN AND HIS SON DEAN LATER AFTER BRIEFLY SEEING AL AND NURSIE JOINED THE THRONG LATER BEFORE HEADING TO A CONCERT IN BIRMINGHAM. HAD A VERY NICE CHINESE LATER ON AND HAD SOME FOOD AS WELL.

HINDU WEDDING PROCESSION IN TOWN YESTERDAY.

THE SECOND COMING

"And here's to an excellent XF2 - it better be good! cause I'm expecting you all to see it at least 10 times EACH" - GILLIAN

"SEE IT OR RISK THE HORSES HEAD" - THE DON

http://www.gilliananderson.ws/messages/index.shtml http://www.hollywood.com/news/All_Go_on_X_Files_Sequel_with_Duchovny__Anderson/3677034

http://www.tvsquad.com/2008/01/17/x-files-sequel-starts-filming/ http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117975124.html?categoryid=13&cs=1 http://countingdown.com/movies/30913

http://scifi.about.com/b/2007/11/03/x-files-sequel-starting-production.htm http://www.cinematical.com/2008/01/17/x-files-sequel-alien-mythology-vs-stand-alone-scares/

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/news/e3iff716996ae2a7e2161329d825a22ad6b

BRING IT ON

INTERNET MOVIE DATABASE ENTRY FOR THE FILM -

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0443701/

WIKIPEDIA ENTRY FOR THE FILM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Untitled_X-Files_Sequel

9/7 GREAT TO MEET UP WITH JOHN T. AND SCOTTISH PETE FOR THE WORLD FAMOUS PELSALL CARNIVAL (BIGGER THAN DONNINGTON). WEATHER WASN'T TOO BAD IN THE END. GYPSY CHRIS APPEARED FOR A SURPRISE VIGNETTE WITH HIS BROTHER. SAW THE SULTAN WEARING SHORTS LATER WHICH IS AN EXPERIENCE I'M GOING TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE TRYING TO BLOCK OUT. THE NEXT SOCIAL EVENT WILL BE THE WORLD FAMOUS BLOXWICH CARNIVAL (BIGGER THAN WOODSTOCK) AT WHICH JOHN T. AND SCOTTISH PETE WILL AGAIN BE IN ATTENDANCE. LOOKING FORWARD TO IT MUCHLY.

NOT OUT FRIDAY AS GOLF SHOULD BE EARLY THIS SATURDAY BUT LUCA CAN'T MAKE IT AND THE SULTAN IS OMINOUSLY QUIET. STILL, MONSOONS ASIDE, ALL BEING EQUAL I WILL CRUSH THE HUN AND DANCE N HIS GRAVE SINGING HALLELUJAH BEFORE DESCENDING UPON THE TOWN.

1/7 HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARVELLOUS MARGE I. THE FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE OF THE RAP GENERATION. KEEP IT REAL SISTER.

VERY ENJOYABLE GAME OF GOLF SUNDAY. IAN P. HAD THREATENED TO PLAY BUT IN THE END IT WAS JUST THE SULTAN, THE HUN AND MYSELF WHICH MEANT THE ROUND WAS SUB 5 HOURS. I WAS VICTORIOUS - ALTHOUGH THE SULTAN HAD NOT BEEN WELL AND DID WELL TO TURN UP. THE JUICES FLOWING AGAIN I HAVE JUST SPLASHED OUT ON SOME TEES (HOPEFULLY COUNTERFEIT) FROM EBAY. DETLEFS TEUTONIC 'ELEND' OR IN ENGLISH, MISERY TURNED TO DESPAIR LATER WHEN THE NATIONAL HUN SIDE LOST OUT TO THE BULL BAITERS IN THE EUROPEAN CHAMPIONSHIP FINAL. UNFORTUNATELY IT WAS BASED ON FOOTBALL. ALWAYS FAIR DETLEF SAID THE SPANISH DESERVED TO WIN. ALTHOUGH HE RESERVES THE RIGHT TO LAUNCH A 3 PRONGED ATTACK ON 2 FRONTS AGAINST THEM IN 'HERBST' WHICH IS WHAT THE SAUSAGE MUNCHERS CALL 'AUTUMN'

THE PILGRIMAGE TO PELSALL CARNIVAL BEGINS. BIGGER THAN GLASTONBURY.

THE MOST FAMOUS SITE ON THE NET IN MY OWN HEAD

IF YOU GOOGLE CHRISTHEDON THIS SITE USUALLY COMES UP FIRST ITEM.

http://www.aboutus.org/ChrisThedon.com - THIS IS INTERESTING - THEY SEEM TO HAVE CAPTURED MY SITE LAST HALLOWEEN.

25/6 TOUCH WOOD - A PERIOD OF STABILITY NOW AFTER 3 CALLS TO THE FOREIGN CALL CENTER TODAY AFTER FURTHER AOL PROBLEMS AND NOT WANTING TO REFORMAT AGAIN.

GERMANS DO IT AGAIN! HOPE RUSSIA BEAT SPAIN TO MAKE A GAME OF THE FINAL. DETLEF NOT HAPPY WITH PERFORMANCE TONIGHT HE TEXTS ME FROM HIS LICHFIELD CASTLE

SULTAN STILL 'LOOSE'

NURSIE BACK AT WORK AFTER HOLIDAY TOMORROW

I'VE STILL GOT A STINKING COLD AND I'VE GOT A COMPUTER EXAM TOMORROW.

I'M NOT KIDDING THIS IS MAN FLU NURSE!

ARTISTES NEAR THE (SITTING) BULL RING

TOP CLASS CUISINE IN OUR TOWN!

24/6 HAD TO REFORMAT MY HARD DRIVE ABOUT HALF A DOZEN TIMES IN LAST WEEK LARGELY DOWN TO AOL UPDATES. HOPEFULLY UPGRADING PC IN OCTOBER IF IT CAN LAST TILL THEN. AOL IS A BITCH TO REINSTALL THESE DAYS FOR AGING MODEMS. THEN I LOST MY PASSWORDS FOR MY WEBSITE.

SULTAN HAS BEEN PRETTY POORLY WITH STOMACH. WAITING ON LATEST NEWS ON THAT ONE.

LUCA HAS PULLED OUT OF GOLF SUNDAY, WHICH WILL BE AT HILLTOP - WE HAVEN'T BEEN THERE FOR AGES. WE HAVEN'T BEEN ANYWHERE FOR AGES!

VERY ENJOYABLE BUFFET FOR TRIUMPHANT RETURN OF SULTAN'S PRESENT (TO KEEP HER ON HER TOES) LADY LAST FRIDAY. YUMMY PAKORAS AND SAMOSAS - HOPE SHE CLIMBS MOUNT KILIMANJARO EVERY WEEK!

GOD THAT SPAIN - ITALY GAME WAS BORING. RUSSIA LOOK GOOD.

I'VE GOT A STINKING COLD.

PELSALL CARNIVAL THE WEEKEND AFTER NEXT. SCOTTISH PETE AND JOHN T. OF BLOXWICH WILL BE IN ATTENDANCE. SAW JOHN T. IN TOWN THE OTHER MORNING. THIS MAN HAS BEEN DYING FOR THE LAST 20 YEARS! LOOKS BETTER THAN ME.

NURSIE AT THE DOWNLOAD FESTIVAL. YOU HAVE TO SAY - WHAT GUTS!

LINK TO THE FREE VERSION OF THE EXCELLENT AVG ANTI VIRUS PROGRAM ON THIS PAGE. I'VE FOUND THIS BETTER THAN ANY OF THE RETAIL ONES I USED TO USE WHEN I COULD AFFORD THEM.

http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/askjack/2008/05/avg_free_still_free.html

16/6 YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS DEAR READER BUT WE ACTUALLY PLAYED GOLF YESTERDAY AND ALL 4 OF US TURNED UP. I CAME A BRAVE LAST, NEARLY GOING OUT IN A BLAZE OF GLORY WHEN I HIT MY DRIVE ON THE LAST AT A COMPLETE RIGHT ANGLE TO THE LEFT AND NARROWLY MISSED THE WINDOWS OF THE CAFE. DETLEF FINISHED FIRST FOLLOWED BY A SLIGHLY UNDER PAR (BUT NOT IN THE GOLFING SENSE) SULTAN. THE BEHEMOTH KNOWN AS LUCA SHOVED ME INTO LAST PLACE. NONE OF US PLAYED WELL - ALTHOUGH THE DIFFERENCE IN THE ENGLISH AND GERMAN TRAINING METHODS WERE HIGHLIGHTED. DETLEF HAS BEEN GOING TO THE DRIVING RANGE HOURLY AND EXERCISING AT A LADIES CLUB AND WE HAVE ALL BEEN EATING CHIPS.

WE WILL TRY AGAIN IN 2 WEEKS TIME.

THE SULTAN'S LATEST - DEBS HAD A BIT OF A TIFF WITH HIM RECENTLY AND CLIMBED MOST OF MOUNT KILIMANJARO IN A FIT OF PEAK (SIC). THERE WILL BE 'A BIT OF A DO' (THAT WAS A GREAT SERIES) FOR HER THIS FRIDAY.

NURSIE HAD A GREAT WEEKEND AT THE FESTIVAL AT DONNINGTON, ALTHOUGH SOME DICK THREW A BOTTLE AT THE CAR THIS MORNING AND BROKE A WINDOW.

I JUST DON'T BELIEVE IT!!!!! - 'RED ONION' McCLAREN INTERVIEWED FOR BLACKBURN JOB?????? HAVE THEY LOST THEIR SENSES????????

14/6 HAPPY BIRTHDAY DASHER!!!!

I'M JUST WATCHING THE EXCELLENT 'AN EVENING WITH GARY LINEKER' - WHICH IS SET AT THE 1990 WORLD CUP FINALS WHERE WE WERE BEATEN BY GERMANY FOR A CHANGE. HOPEFULLY SOMEONE WILL MAKE A COMEDY SET DURING THE 2010 FINALS WHEN WE WIN THE CUP HAVING BEATEN GERMANY 5.1 (AGAIN)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109752/

10/6 DUTCH AND GERMANS LOOK THE PICK OF THE BUNCH SO FAR. WATCHED MY COPY OF THE EXCELLENT 'MY SUMMER WITH DES' LAST NIGHT - SET AT THE 1996 EUROS. THAT WAS SUCH A TOURNAMENT AND IT REALLY CAPTURES THE ATMOSPHERE OF IT - STILL CAN'T BELIEVE WE DIDN'T WIN. GAZZA AND SHEARER WERE ON FIRE. AH - WATCHING US CRUSH THE DUTCH IN 'MILLIGANS' WITH IAN - AND THE LONELY WALK HOME FROM THE 'PUNCH AND JUDY' IN BOURNEMOUTH AS THE GERMANS INCREDIBLY SNATCHED A VICTORY. LEFT MY GERMAN LAGER ON THE COUNTER AND WALKED OUT INTO THE NIGHT.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0144397/

MEANT TO PUT THIS UP AGES AGO - THINK THIS ARTICLE SUMS UP HEATHER MILLS

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-492357/Esther-Rantzen-Yes-shes-bully-liar-But-I-admire-Heather-Millss-spirit.html

3/6 NORMALLY BEFORE A MAJOR TOURNAMENT THIS SITE WOULD BE FESTOONED WITH ENGLAND FLAGS ETC. (SEE PREVIOUS TOURNAMENTS IN THE ARCHIVES) BUT I JUST CAN'T RAISE ANY INTEREST. THESE STUPID ADVERTS ASKING WHO YOU ARE GOING TO SUPPORT? I THINK THE ORIGINATORS SHOULD BE PUT TO SLEEP. WE ALL KNOW THE SODDING GERMANS ARE GOING TO WIN ANYWAY - IT'S CERTAIN NOW BECAUSE THEY ARE SAYING THEY DON'T THINK THEY WILL. THEY ARE PROBABLY SAFE UNLESS BOLLOCK (SIC) SWALLOWS THE BALL. McCLAREN SCULKING IN YOUR HALLS OF STONE (UNDER AN UMBRELLA) A CURSE UPON YOUR TAX RETURNS. IS THIS BITTER?

ENGLAND'S SAVIOUR HAS ADVISED THE IDIOT CHILD RONALDO TO STAY AT UNITED. FERGIE SELLING BECKS WAS A RARE MISTAKE AND HIS CONTINUED LOYALTY SPEAKS VOLUMES ABOUT ENGLAND'S GREATEST STAR.

NURSIE IS BACK FROM JERSEY. ALAN ARBOR'S BOSS WENT OFF TO LAS VEGAS LAST WEEK WITHOUT PAYING ANY OF THE STAFF SO AL WAS WITHOUT FUNDS TILL YESTERDAY AND UNABLE TO EVEN GET THE BUS. NEIL THE SCHOOLTEACHER IS ON CRUTCHES AFTER A SKIING ACCIDENT. SAW KEITH THE SCHOOLTEACHER ON BANK HOLIDAY MONDAY - IN GOOD FORM.

SULTAN WILL HAVE A BIT OF TIME ON HIS HANDS FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS WHILE HIS LADY HOLIDAYS ABROAD.

2/6 MOVED THE VERY VERY SLOWLY BEING WRITTEN FAVOURITE FILM LIST TO A SEPARATE PAGE Films_To_See_Before_You_Go_Blind.htm

SHOVED A LOT OF OLD STUFF ONTO THE ARCHIVES PAGE Previous.htm

BIT OF A BORING ENGLAND GAME LAST NIGHT BUT AT LEAST WE WON AND DEFOE PROVED HE CAN TAKE 2 CHANCES IN 10. VERY GOOD BY BARRY AGAIN - SHOULD BE A REGULAR NOW.

BBC SPRING-WATCH WEBSITE WITH WEBCAMS http://www.bbc.co.uk/springwatch/

I'M STILL SLOWLY GRADUALLY DOING REPAIR WORK SINCE THE CHANGE OF SERVERS - I'M AWARE THAT SEVERAL LINKS STILL AREN'T WORKING, BUT I'M GETTING THERE SLOWLY. MONTY TRIBUTE PAGE BACK ONLINE WWW.CHRISTHEDON.COM/Burnsy.htm

1\6 HAPPY BIRTHDAY SCOTTISH PETE!!!

NICE TO BASK IN CHAMPIONS LEAGUE GLORY BUT IT'S BEING TARNISHED SLIGHTLY BY RONALDO'S PRIMA DONNA ANTICS. IF HE WANTS TO GO HE SHOULD GO. HE SHOULD TAKE A LEAF FROM OUR SAVIOUR'S BOOKS - MADE ENGLAND CAPTAIN FOR TONIGHT'S GAME. HE WILL NEVER BE HALF THE STAR BECKS HAS BEEN AND IS CERTAINLY NOT SHOWING HALF HIS HUMILITY.

MODERN DAY HOBBITS!

http://www.barefooters.org/

CAUGHT A BIT OF EASTENDERS EARLIER FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A WHILE. DIRTY DEN HAS BEEN KILLED BUT YOUNG BRADLEY LOOKS LIKE HE'S ABOUT TO GET OFF WITH THE GIRL OUT OF THE COMMITMENTS!

ANGELINE BALL - CURRENTLY APPEARING IN ALBERT SQUARE

MY CALF IS NEARLY PAIN FREE SO HOPEFULLY IT WILL BE GOLF WEEKEND AFTER NEXT

17\5 GREAT TO SEE DASHER THE KING OF IRELAND ON FRIDAY ALTHOUGH THE SULTAN'S MYSTERIOUS ABSENCE ONCE AGAIN CAST A SHADOW OVER THE WHOLE AFFAIR. PAUL THE MAN APTLY ATE A WHOLE OCEAN IN THE FOUNTAIN (IT'S CALLED A SEAFOOD PLATTER) ONLY TO BE INVITED AT SHORT NOTICE HALF AN HOUR LATER FOR A FREE MEAL IN ARBOR. MANFULLY HE TELLS ME HE MANAGED SOME SOUP AND 2 PINTS OF GUINNESS. THE QUINNSTER POPPED IN TO RAISE THE TONE OF THE OCCASION, VERY NICE TO SEE HIM TOO AND REGULARS NURSIE AND BIB. FINISHED THE EVENING WITH WALSALL'S MOST FAMOUS MAN (IN MY EYES) GEORGE M. ALAN PHONED ME TO TELL ME HE WENT IN ARBOR YESTERDAY - THIS IS AFTER HAVING HIS OPERATION LAST SATURDAY!

FOUND THE CUP FINAL PRETTY BORING BUT HAPPY FOR HARRY.

RONALDO HAS PICKED A POOR MOMENT TO FUEL SPECULATION REGARDING TRANSFER. HOPEFULLY HE IS JUST TRYING TO BUILD HIS NEXT CONTRACT UP IN THE LIGHT OF FERDINAND AND CARRICK SIGNING THEIRS - BUT STONE ME THERE'S 4 YEARS TO GO ON HIS EXISTING ONE!

SHOULD BE GOOD TOMORROW IF IT ALL GOES AS NURSIE HAS PLANNED. TONY Q. MAY POP IN AND HOPEFULLY PAUL THE MAN WILL BE ABOUT. AL IS OUT OF HOSPITAL AND IN LITTLE PAIN BUT WE WONT BE SEEING HIM UNLESS HE IS A COMPLETE IDIOT. SPEAKING OF WHICH - AFTER THE SULTAN'S SHAMEFUL DISSING OF DASHER LAST TIME IT'S TO BE HOPED HE WILL MAKE AN APPEARANCE TOMORROW. DASHER IS DIRECTLY DESCENDED FROM CÚCHULAINN ONE OF THE ANCIENT IRISH HEROES OF THE EMERALD ISLE AND NOT A MAN TO BE MESSED WITH.

LEARN ABOUT DASHER'S ANCESTOR HERE - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cúchulainn

13\5 LEG HAS GONE AGAIN - NO GOLF AGAIN, STILL, DASHER IS OUT ON FRIDAY AND WE WILL BE MEETING UP WITH HIM AT ABOUT 5, IF I HAVE TO CRAWL THERE.

DON'T FORGET THE ENGLAND FRIENDLY AGAINST TRINIDAD AND THEIR MATES TOBAGO ON 1ST JUNE. WHY A SUNDAY THOUGH? THIS WAS ARRANGED BY SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T DRINK OR WORK OR BOTH.

IN MY GRIEF I'M STILL GOING TO BE WEARING MY ENGLAND SHIRTS FOR ANY OF THE EUROPEAN CHAMPIONSHIP GAMES I'M OUT FOR. JUST ADVISE STEVE McCLAREN TO STAY OUT OF MY WAY.

HI DAVID - THANKS FOR THE AUTOGRAPH - REMEMBER ME - I'M THE DIPSTICK EX ENGLAND MANAGER WHO DROPPED YOU. ANY CHANCE OF THE PRICE OF A CUP OF TEA? I'VE GONE DEMENTED!

AT LEAST THERES THE RYDER CUP IN SEPTEMBER AND THE KNIVES ARE ALREADY OUT FOR THE GOD WHO WALKS LIKE A MAN, NICK FALDO, THANKS TO MRS AZINGER'S STRANGE IDIOT CHILD PAUL.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/main.jhtml?xml=/sport/2008/04/08/sgfald108.xml

LOOKING LIKE GOLF FINALLY THIS WEEKEND - MY LEG IS MUCH BETTER - UNLESS I LOSE IN WHICH CASE IT WAS NEVER QUITE RIGHT...

LUCA CAN'T PLAY AS HE'S GOT A CONTRACT KILLING BUT THE SULTAN CLAIMS HE IS - ALTHOUGH I HAVE YET TO HEAR FROM THE MIGHTY HUN AND I CAN'T SEE THE SULTAN AND I GETTING A TAXI SOMEHOW.

11/5 CONGRATULATIONS UNITED - JOB HALF DONE - MOSCOW NEXT ON 21ST MAY. HOPEFULLY WATCHING THE GAME WITH JIM G.

GOOD TO SEE THE SULTAN IN THE WEEK AND GREAT TO SEE DAVE C. AND GEORGE AND DEBBIE ON FRIDAY.

ALAN ARBOR IS IN HOSPITAL AFTER HAVING HIS OP YESTERDAY.

I THINK THE TERM 'GENIUS' IS MUCH OVER USED THESE DAYS AND I'M NOT SURE IT IS FAIR TO DESCRIBE ME AS SUCH, BUT HAVING BEEN LISTENING TO 'THE SILMARILLION' RECENTLY I'M IN NO DOUBT WHATSOEVER REGARDING TOLKIEN'S CLAIM TO THE TITLE. GOD KNOWS HOW THEY WOULD EVER FILM IT - WHICH MEANS NO DOUBT THEY WILL ONE DAY. IN THE MEANTIME WE MUST MAKE DO WITH THE FORTHCOMING 2 FILM ADAPTATION OF 'THE HOBBIT'.

FROM THE SILMARILLION - ELVEN KING FINGOLFIN FACES MORGOTH - THE FIRST DARK LORD - WHO MADE SAURON HIS BITCH. THEY USED TO MAKE 'EM STRONGER IN THOSE DAYS.

1/5 MOSCOW HERE WE COME. COULD HAVE BEEN A GREAT FINAL BUT CHELSKI WON LAST NIGHT. WATCHED IT WITH JIM G. IN THE COTTAGE AFTER I HAD GIVEN HIM HIS LATEST COMPUTER LESSON. HE DID ME A HANDSOME DOGGY BAG OF 'MEAT AND TATTIES' WHICH I VERY MUCH ENJOYED WHEN I GOT HOME. SPOTTED THE SULTAN AND HIS HAREM IN ARBOR WHEN I MET UP WITH JIM.

BUMPED INTO TONY Q. AT MANOR - WIFE NOT TOTALLY OUT OF THE WOODS YET - ALL BEST WISHES.

NEWCASTLE'S FATHER IN LAW HAS PASSED AWAY LYNDA TELLS ME BY EMAIL - VERY SAD NEWS.

ALAN'S MOM'S FUNERAL TODAY - WILL BE THINKING OF HIM.

NO SODDIN' GOLF AGAIN THIS WEEKEND AS I'VE PULLED A MUSCLE IN MY LEG AND IT'S NOT QUITE RIGHT YET.

28/4 TOUCH WOOD - TONY Q'S WIFE DOING WELL AFTER HER RECENT OP HE TELLS ME BY EMAIL.

SPOKE TO NURSIE TODAY - HE WAS ENJOYING CORPORATE HOSPITALITY.

THE SILMARILLION

IT'S A TERRIBLE CONFESSION FOR SUCH A HUGE TOLKIEN FAN - BUT DESPITE HAVING HAD THE BOOK FOR MANY YEARS - I STILL HAVEN'T READ IT. JUST GOT THE AUDIO BOOK THOUGH - SO I'LL BE LISTENING TO IT ON MY PHONE FROM TOMORROW (ABOUT 15 HOURS WORTH IN ALL - READ BY MARTIN SHAW).

27/4 THE LADY HERSELF HAS JUST CONFIRMED IT TO ME BY TEXT. ON FRIDAY, IN A SCENE REMINISCENT OF 'ROOTS' JOYCIE WAS FINALLY RELEASED FROM YEARS OF BONDAGE! GOD BLESS HER - SHE CAN FINALLY START ENJOYING HER LIFE.

AN ARTIST'S IMPRESSION OF WHAT JOYCE USED TO LOOK LIKE.

GIVE THAT LADY A MEDAL! JOYCE AS SHE IS TODAY!!!!!

NOW SHE CAN RETIRE TO A LIFE OF COCK FIGHTING.

24/4 TALKING OF THE ENGLISH IT'S BIB'S BIRTHDAY TODAY - ONE OF THE LAST TRUE ENGLISH GENTLEMEN!!!

23/4 HAPPY ST GEORGE'S DAY - AND WHAT BETTER WAY TO CELEBRATE IT THAN WITH A SPARKLING WIN AGAINST BARCELONA TONIGHT. GO YOU MIGHTY REDS. CRY GOD FOR HARRY ENGLAND AND ST GEORGE!!!!!

21/4 LIKE A PHOENIX.......WE'RE BACK! BEAR WITH ME FOR A BIT - SOME OF THE INTERNAL LINKS WON'T BE WORKING AND SOME PICS MISSING WHILE I SORT THE SITE OUT UNDER THE NEW SERVERS

GOLF CANCELLED AGAIN SUNDAY! SULTAN (MOM POORLY) DETLEF (A PAIN IN THE NECK) AND LUCA (ASTON VILLA) WILL WE EVER PLAY?

17/4 GOODBYE TO 'THE BOLLOCKS'

SAD NEWS - THIS SITE WILL BE DISAPPEARING IN THE NEXT 7-10 DAYS. UNFORTUNATELY THE WEB HOSTER I WAS USING IS CLOSING DOWN. THE SITE MAY RETURN IN THE FUTURE UNDER A DIFFERENT NAME - IF SO - I'LL LET YOU KNOW BY EMAIL, BUT IF NOT - DESPITE IT BECOMING A BIT OF A CHORE TO UPDATE IN RECENT MONTHS AS I'VE GOT BUSIER, I'VE REALLY ENJOYED DOING IT OVERALL AND I KNOW FROM FEEDBACK A LOT OF YOU HAVE ENJOYED LOOKING AT IT TOO, PARTICULARLY THE MENTALLY DISTURBED AND THE INUITS.

MANY MANY THANKS TO DAVE E. WHO GOT ME STARTED WITH IT IN THE FIRST PLACE IN DISTANT 2005

BLIMEY - NOW NURSIE TELLS ME THE SULTAN'S MOM IS IN HOSPITAL - ALL BEST WISHES FOR A SPEEDY RECOVERY.

16\4 BACK TO FRIVOLITY - SEVERAL HILL'S ANGELS CLIPS ON YOUTUBE

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=hills+angels&search_type=

SAVE ANY YOUTUBE VIDEOS ON YOUR DRIVE USING THIS - http://www.downloadyoutubevideos.com/

NOW WE'RE ALL NICELY DEPRESSED - THE SAD STORY OF MATTHEW GARBER OF 'MARY POPPINS' FAME.

http://www.reelclassics.com/Musicals/MaryPoppins/marypoppins-garber.htm

16\4 SADLY 'ALAN ARBOR' THE EVERTON FAN'S MOM DIED EARLIER. I HAVEN'T KNOWN HIM VERY LONG BUT HE'S A FINE CHAP AND ALL I CAN SAY IS I'M REALLY SORRY FOR HIS LOSS. IT'S WHAT WE ALL DREAD THE MOST, THE LOSS OF A FAMILY MEMBER OR LOVED ONE - AND IT'S SOMETHING THAT'S HAPPENED TO FAR TOO MANY OF MY FRIENDS IN RECENT MONTHS.

STOP PRESS - THANK YOU BRUCIE'S WIGAN - CHELSEA 1 WIGAN 1........IT'S LOOKING REALLY REALLY GOOD NOW.

A JUBILANT ROB ALSO INFORMS ME HE IS SHOOTING AT KENSINGTON PALACE TOMORROW AND WINDSOR CASTLE SATURDAY. HAH! I WENT TO CHASETOWN TODAY!

14/4 IT'S LOOKING LIKE UNITED'S TITLE AS ARSENAL WERE HUMBLED AT OLD TRAFFORD YESTERDAY. NOT THE 5.1 ROUT I PREDICTED BUT IT DID PROVOKE THE COMMENTS "VERY PLEASING" FROM NURSIE AND "WHY DO I EVER DOUBT YOUR BOUNDLESS ENTHUSIASM?" FROM 'FRIEND TO THE STARS' ROB. ONCE AGAIN OBSCENE WINGER WAS MAGNANIMOUS IN DEFEAT THE DAFTY.

BARKING MAD? YOU DECIDE. ARSENE 'I DIDN'T SEE IT' WENGER

VERY GOOD NEWS - MOM HAD RESULT OF BIOPSY TODAY - THEY GOT IT ALL AND SHE HASN'T GOT TO GO BACK AGAIN TILL AUGUST. A RELIEF.

ON A SADDER NOTE 'ALAN ARBOR'S MOM HAD A FALL IN THE LAST FEW DAYS AND IS IN HOSPITAL.

VERY SAD ABOUT MARK SPEIGHT - I GUESS HIS HEART COULDN'T HOLD HIS GRIEF.

WENT UP THE BRICKS FRIDAY WITH AL, PAUL THE VILLA FAN, PAUL THE MAN AND ROBBO THE UNFORTUNATE GOONER - ONLY A FEW BEERS ON AND.....NO GUINNESS!!! THEY SAID NO ONE HAD ASKED FOR IT FOR 2 WEEKS? YEAH I'M SURE. IT'S JUST LEFT THE RADAR CHART. HOPE MARY STILL HAS A JOB THERE AT LEAST, SHE IS PART OF THE FIXTURES AND FITTINGS. THE WAY THINGS ARE GOING PUB WISE AND WITH GUINNESS AT 3.10 IN ARBOR I DON'T THINK I'LL EVEN BE GOING OUT ON A FRIDAY IN 12 MONTHS.

HOPEFULLY........HOPEFULLY PLAYING GOLF NEXT SUNDAY WITH DETLEF AND THE GIRLS BUT NOTHING WOULD SURPRISE ME WEATHER WISE, VERY DISAPPOINTING IN DETLEF'S LAST YEAR IN THIS COUNTRY. HIS BROTHER IN LAW MARK A. HAS THREATENED TO PLAY ONE OF THE WEEKS WHICH WOULD BE NICE IN DETLEF'S LAST SEASON.

JOYCIE'S 60TH COMING UP NEXT MONDAY!!

WAS AFTER A CHINESE STYLE CURRY THE OTHER WEEK - I THOUGHT THIS RECIPE LOOKED TOO SIMPLE TO BE ANY GOOD - BUT I WAS WRONG - TRY IT AND I'LL EAT IT.

"CHINESE CHICKEN CURRY
4 Chicken breasts diced
1oz Marg 1oz Flour
1 dsp Curry Powder 1-2 tsp Chilli Powder
1 pt Stock 1-2 Onions
Mushrooms

Boil or fry the chicken until no longer pink
Melt the marg stir in flour, curry powder and chilli powder
Gradually stir in stock and bring to the boil whisking until smooth
Add cooked meat, veg or prawns simmer for 15 mins add large pieces of onion and mushrooms simmer for 5-10 mins

You can serve this with noodles or rice" - WHICH I DID...WITH A GARLIC NAN AND CHIPS....

9\4 GREAT RUN BY WALCOTT LAST NIGHT - PLEASE GOD HE DOES THAT FOR ENGLAND ONE DAY. LET THE SCOUSERS CELEBRATE WHILE THEY MAY - AND WE WILL SNATCH IT ALL AWAY FROM THEM IN THE FINAL.

LOVELY CHILLI AT JIM G.'S LAST NIGHT - AND I THOUGHT I DIDN'T LIKE IT - AS IT IS I'LL PROBABLY HAVE A BASH MYSELF SOON.

AL'S GOT A DATE AND WARD FOR HIS OP.

THE SULTAN IS STILL MATING - IT'S LOOKING GOOD.

GOLF WAS CANCELLED BY THE GERMAN LAST SUNDAY OWING TO SNOW - IT WAS STALINGRAD ALL OVER AGAIN! (BUT ACTUALLY THEY CLOSED THE COURSE) NOT GOING TO GET MUCH GOLF IN AGAIN THIS YEAR THE WAY IT'S LOOKING.

CONGRATULATIONS TO COLIN MY BROTHER IN LAW AND THE VICTOR MELDREW OF PELSALL ON HIS BIRTHDAY YESTERDAY

MANY CONGRATULATIONS TO THE SULTAN ON BECOMING A GRANDAD YET AGAIN!!!

MY BIRTHDAY THIS YEAR WAS A CATALOGUE OF DISASTERS FROM BEGINNING TO END - COMMENCING WITH ME TRIPPING OVER A LOOSE WIRE AND HEADBUTTING THE BEDROOM DOOR SHUT. AT LEAST I FOUND OUT BALLOONS IS OPEN LUNCHTIMES AND EARLY EVENING NOW AND THAT RAN HAS GONE VERY GREY.

27\3 A VERY NICE EASTER REALLY - CONGRATS TO SCHOOLTEACHER JOHN ON HIS DAUGHTER NICOLE'S WEDDING - NICE TO MEET HIM UNEXPECTEDLY ON GOOD FRIDAY ON THE EVE OF THE CEREMONY.

WE DIDN'T PLAY GOLF ON EASTER SUNDAY - THE PROMISED SNOW AND THE LURE OF GOING TO THE PUB TO WATCH UNITED CRUSH LIVERPOOL PROVED TOO MUCH. GREAT TO MEET UP WITH THE COUSINS FOR THAT.

NURSIE IS BACK AT WORK. WHAT THEY THINK HE HAD HAS A LONG NAME AND STARTS WITH AN 'M'. ANSWERS ON A POSTCARD.

GREAT TO SEE JIM G. ON GOOD FRIDAY.

SAW DETLEF'S BRO - IN -LAW MARK YESTERDAY TO SAY HELLO TO.

THE SULTAN IS STILL MATING. HE WAS PREPARING HER A MEAL BEFORE THE MATING CEREMONY LAST NIGHT.

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE FUTURE SIR DAVID ON HIS 100TH CAP - I AM CAUTIOUSLY OPTIMISTIC HE WILL EARN A WORLD CUP MEDAL IN THE 2010 WORLD CUP, SCORING 5 TIMES AND HAVING 1 DISALLOWED.

TYPICALLY CRAP PERFORMANCE BY DOWNING AND PREDICTABLY DAMNING PRAISE FOR BECKS BY MEDIOCRE EX ENGLAND PLAYER AND CLUB MANAGER AND DODDERING SKYSPORTS NEWS PUNDIT, ALAN MULLERY. DAFTY.

STEVE R. IS IN BUDAPEST.

IAN (SHOULDERS) SPENT EASTER IN AMSTERDAM, PROBABLY WITH A HOOKER OR A HOOKAH?

SCOTTISH PETE WILL BE BACK FOR PELSALL CARNIVAL THIS YEAR!

AMUSING IF YOU LIKE 'STARSHIP TROOPERS' - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=godFPmu3_gs

21\3 WILL SMITH'S 'I AM LEGEND' NO LONGER HAMPERED BY CRAP ENDING! DVD RELEASE WILL CONTAIN AN ALTERNATIVE ONE.

http://www.firstshowing.net/2008/03/05/must-watch-i-am-legends-original-ending-this-is-amazing/

20\3 GNOME PROBLEMS WORSEN http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article902014.ece WHEN WILL SOMEONE WAKE UP TO THIS??

I'M ONLY ALLOWED TO KEEP £5 A WEEK FROM MY PAID HOURS AND IT COSTS ME AN EXTRA 5.20 A WEEK TO GET TO WORK. STILL I SHALL PERSIST.

ROB 'FRIEND TO THE STARS' WALKED INTO HIS BATHROOM DOOR IN THE NIGHT AND CUT HIS BROW OPEN - HE THEN HAD TO BE AT 'THE RITZ' FOR A PHOTO SHOOT AT 9AM THIS MORNING....THEY TOOK SOME PICS OF DARIUS WHO IS GOING TO PLAY RHETT BUTLER IN A NEW MUSICAL OF 'GONE WITH THE WIND' I FEEL DARIUS PROBABLY LOOKED A BIT MORE GLAMOROUS THAN ROB. ROB REPORTS THE GIRLIES WERE A SWOONING.

TOMORROW IS A LANDMARK BIRTHDAY FOR MY FRIEND TREVOR!!! I WILL SAY NO MORE.

SELECTED PREVIOUS NEWS ARCHIVED -

THE WAY WE WERE

MY HIGHLY NEGLECTED FAVOURITE FILMS LIST

Films_To_See_Before_You_Go_Blind.htm

THE DON'S RANT OF THE YEAR SO FAR

IF SOMEONE HAD TOLD ME 2 YEARS AGO THAT THERE WAS A CHANCE OF SMOKING BEING COMPLETELY BANNED IN PUBS IN THE UK I WOULD HAVE HAD THEM LOCKED UP. IT'S SAD BUT A PINT AND A FAG IS THE ONLY WAY SOME PEOPLE UNWIND AND NOW THAT OPTION IS BEING TAKEN AWAY. ULTIMATELY AS TOBACCO SALES WILL FALL TAX WILL RISE. PUBS WILL CLOSE. OAP'S WILL DIE OF HYPOTHERMIA SMOKING OUTSIDE IN SNOWDRIFTS AND THERE WILL BE FLOODS AND PLAGUES OF LOCUSTS - YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST.

The Grinch hated Christmas!
The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were to tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

"What goes around comes around.
Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
Sing like nobody's listening.
Live like it's Heaven on Earth".

AS A WISE MAN ONCE SAID....

"When the seagulls follow the trawler, it's because they think sardines will be thrown in to the sea" - Eric Cantona

"You will never get the crowd to cry Hosanna until you ride into town on an ass" - Friedrich Nietzsche

Home? I have no home. Hunted, despised, Living like an animal! The jungle is my home. But I will show the world that I can be its master! I will perfect my own race of people. A race of atomic supermen which will conquer the world! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

- Margaret Thatcher

THIS SITE DEDICATED WITH LOVE TO SUSIE AND JOYCIE

FOREVER FRIENDS

HOLD THE MOMENT - I DO!!

There are places I’ll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I’ve loved them all

FIND OLD FRIENDS - http://www.friendsreunited.co.uk/ / http://www.myoldmate.net/

MY THOUGHTS AS YOURS ARE WITH THOSE WHO DIED OR WERE INJURED IN THE COWARDLY ATTACK IN LONDON 7\7\05

I'M VERY PROUD TO BE ENGLISH AND BRITISH BUT - THIS SITE ABHORS RACISM FROM ANY SOURCE

FOR THE VERY BORED......

THE LINKS

BROOKSIDE LINKS

BROOKSIDE WAS THE ONLY SOAP I COULD EVER STAND - THEY BASED ONE OF THE CHARACTERS, BARRY GRANT ON ME. LINKS TO BROOKSIDE SITES:=

http://www.museum.tv/archives/etv/B/htmlB/brookside/brookside.htm http://www.btinternet.com/~brookside.soapbox/ http://pages.eidosnet.co.uk/neils/brookside/ http://www.tv.com/brookside/show/1420/summary.html

PAUL USHER - BARRY GRANT http://www.paulusher.tk/

X-FILES LINKS

X-FILES - SECOND BEST TV SERIES EVER MADE - SIMPSONS BEING THE FIRST OF COURSE.

http://www.themareks.com/xf/2002.shtml

AS I KNOW YOU ARE ALL INTERESTED - LATEST NEWS ON PLANNED X-FILES SECOND FEATURE FILM http://filmforce.ign.com/articles/660/660926p1.html

http://www.gilliananderson.ws/cgi-bin/news/viewnews.cgi?id=EEVulZlFEyPQtbNFrg&style=print

http://ottawasun.com/Showbiz/Movies/2006/08/15/pf-1756434.html

THERE IS SOME GOOD X-FILES STUFF AND SOME GOOD LINKS TO BE FOUND AMONGST THESE PAGES http://www.gagc.net/forum/index.php?sid=c38360faf1ce8ea8278e731508dc6d23 http://keyofx.cheesejoose.com/videos.html

http://www.hollywood.com/news/All_Go_on_X_Files_Sequel_with_Duchovny__Anderson/3677034

http://xfroadrunners.com/whatsnew.html

NEW!! PUNK AND NEW WAVE LINKS - LINKS FROM THE MOST EXCITING ERA OF ROCK MUSIC) (SLOWLY TO BE ADDED TO. REQUESTS ACCEPTED AND IGNORED AS APPROPRIATE)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punk_rock

X-RAY SPEX

http://www.x-rayspex.com/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/X-Ray_Spex

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEjkPRp60bU&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGcWtPOL6aQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHs2RhKdJyg&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2e_aaoqwZ2Q

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pcuk_AKNmUg&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNfPNUy5ilE&mode=related&search=

THE CLASH

http://www.theclashonline.com/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Clash

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiVvA9YQpiI

GENERAL LINKS

I LOVE HORROR FILMS - WHICH IS JUST AS WELL AS MY LIFE SOMETIMES RESEMBLES ONE. HERE IS A LIST OF SOME OF THE GOOD ONES - http://www.reelmoviecritic.com/20038q/id1973.htm

WIKIPEDIA - I'M VERY IMPRESSED WITH THIS http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Introduction

LATEST FILMS AND DVD REVIEWS AND A LOT MORE http://www.aintitcool.com/

MORE OF THE SAME http://uk.rottentomatoes.com/

WICKED!!! -! http://www.somethingwrong.co.uk/crazy_frog_baseball/ - updated - microwave him too!!!!!!!---

LIVE WEBCAMS - http://www.camvista.com/england/index.php3 NOSTALGIA - http://www.televisionheaven.co.uk/

CLICK HERE I DARES YOU I SAY! (UPDATED - CREATURE PICS) - http://www.christhedon.com/photo_gallery1.htm

IT CAN HAPPEN TO ANYONE OF US PLEASE DONATE - http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/donate/

CUTE - http://www.clean-your-screen-for-free-now.com/

TRIBUTE PAGE TO MY FAVOURITE FILM - http://www.memorableplaces.com/iawlring/

GREAT FOR FANS - http://www.thesimpsons.com/

OLDY BUT GOODY - http://www.christhedon.com/these_are_things_that_people_act.htm

JOHNNY CASTAWAY - http://web.onetel.net.uk/~gnudawn/johnny/links.html

IF YOU'RE READING THIS PAGE YOU MAY BE SAD - http://www.samaritans.co.uk/

GOOD FREE SPYWARE REMOVAL TOOL - http://www.spybot.info/en/index.html

DEBUNKS WEB SCAMS - http://www.bighoaxes.com/

SITE DEDICATED TO MY SECOND FAVOURITE FILM - http://www.jgeoff.com/godfather.html

NEW - LOTTERY RESULTS - http://www.national-lottery.co.uk/player/p/home/home.do

WEB TV - http://www.webtvlist.com/pages/catalogs.asp?CatalogN=sport&webcasting

HALLOWEEN - http://www.halloween.com/

PLEASE DONATE - THIS CAN ALSO HAPPEN TO ANYONE OF US - http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/page.cfm?pageurl=donate.cfm&titlebar=1

THE WEIRDEST SITE I'VE SEEN ANY YEAR - http://www.realhamster.com/ HOMEOPATHY - http://www.abchomeopathy.com/

HOW TO FOLD A SHIRT - http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/fold.php CONVERTING A KITTY - http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6396422/

ALL SORTS OF STUFF - BUT SOME CONTENT MAY DISTURB - http://www.wimp.com/

LIKE THIS BUT MORE SO - CUDDLY IT AINT - http://www.kontraband.com/

JUST EFFING WEIRD - http://egomania.nu/gates.html

MORE FROG KILLIN' - http://crazyfrog.yourebustingmyballs.com/hatethatfrog/index.asp?q=ringtones (89.5 IS MY BEST SO FAR)

BABY'S FIRST TRICK - http://www.extremefunnypictures.com/funnypic464.htm - ALSO LOOK AT 'DOG HATES OWN LEG' ON SAME SITE

TREE HUGGERS - http://www.mwillett.org/Politics/treehuggers.htm

BEST FREE SOFTWARE UTILITIES ALLEGEDLY - http://www.techsupportalert.com/best_46_free_utilities.htm

AN AWARD AFTER MY OWN HEART - http://www.plainenglish.co.uk/footinmouth.html

STRANGE INTERVIEW BEHAVIOUR - http://www.work911.com/articles/humorinterviews.htm

MAD FECKERS http://www.teamfishcake.co.uk/toast/ STRANGE SITE LINKS http://www.dribbleglass.com/subpages/sites.htm

TV NOSTALGIA http://tv.cream.org/

STREAMING TV SPORTS

http://www.football4less.com/schedules/schedules.html http://www.myp2p.eu/index.htm

TOPIARY - http://www.santacruzsentinel.com/archive/2002/May/08/local/stories/05local.htm

SPORTING LEGENDS!!!! - http://www.christhedon.com/photo_gallery.htm

WEB SITE THAT HALE BOPP CULT SET UP BEFORE THEY ALL TOPPED THEMSELVES - NO LONGER UPDATED - wonder why??........... http://www.wave.net/upg/gate/

GO HERE http://www.angryalien.com/1204/wonderful_lifebuns.asp FOR 'ITS A WONDERFUL LIFE' RE ENACTED IN 30 SECONDS BY BUNNIES

TITANIC' ALSO WITH BUNNIES http://www.angryalien.com/0604/titanicbunnies.html

SOME GREAT BRITISH ECCENTRICS http://englishatheist.org/index20.shtml

BEST BRITISH RADIO STATION - http://www1.talksport.net/index.asp

PERSONAL INJURY WARNING SYSTEM - http://www.piws.org/

COMMON GRAMMAR MISTAKES - http://insight.zdnet.co.uk/business/0,39020481,39273376,00.htm

ENGLAND FOOTBALL FIXTURES - http://www.englandfootballonline.com/TeamLatest/Fixtures.html

SOME LITTLE KNOWN FACTS:-

http://www.gambino.com/funstuff/facts.htm

PLAY ELECTRIC GUITAR ON YOUR PC http://www.guitarshredshow.com/

THE GREEN MAN - ANOTHER FASCINATION OF MINE - http://www.mikeharding.co.uk/greenman/greenindex.html http://www.indigogroup.co.uk/edge/greenmen.htm http://www.canterburygreenman.fsnet.co.uk/ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_man

PLAY AS GEORGE - DEFEND THE OVAL OFFICE -

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/multimedia/blbushshootout.htm

MR BURNS TRIBUTE PAGE - www.christhedon.com/Burnsy.htm

http://www.crossofstgeorge.net/

- WONDERFUL PURELY PATRIOTIC SITE - INCLUDES A GREAT QUIZ

ORIGINS OF CHRISTMAS - http://www.soon.org.uk/christmas.htm

A CHRISTMAS ALL YEAR ROUND SITE - ONE I'VE LOOKED AT FOR YEARS

- http://www.kate.net/holidays/christmas/index.html

ZOOM IN ON YOUR HOUSE FROM SPACE http://earth.google.com/

KEEP IN TOUCH - http://www.talibanreunited.com/index.html

BET YA CAN'T DO IT! - http://www.break.com/games/maze15.html

GUINNESS IS A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE - PUBS - www.christhedon.com/Pubs.htm

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A CAT LOVER WHEN... Catlover.htm.htm

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A DOG LOVER WHEN... Doglover.htm.htm

GERMAN JOKE OF THE DAY - http://www.german-jokes.com/

'THE DON'S ADVICE COLUMN ' WHAS A MATTER YOU?' - SIMPLY EMAIL ME ANY PRIVATE EMBARRASSING INFORMATION ABOUT YOURSELF WITH YOUR NAME ADDRESS AND TELEPHONE NUMBER AND I WILL ADVISE YOU HOW TO MAKE SURE MAKE SURE NO-ONE ELSE EVER FINDS OUT ABOUT IT......

IF YOU EVER WATCH THE FILM 'DONNIE DARKO' FOR GOD'S SAKE WATCH THE DIRECTORS CUT OR ELSE THE WHOLE THING WILL BE EVEN HARDER TO FOLLOW - ONCE YOU THINK YOU'VE GOT IT FIGURED OUT GO TO THIS SITE THEN START TAKING THE TABLETS... http://www.stainlesssteelrat.net/ddfaq.htm

RUSSIAN DAVID BECKHAM SITE - SEE 'DOWNLOAD' IN ENGLISH ON LEFT HAND SIDE - I SPEAK FLUENT RUSSIAN - BUT FOR THE PROLES - IST LINK IS TO VIDEO OF MANY OF THE THOUSANDS OF GOALS HE HAS SCORED - SECOND IS TO WALLPAPERS - THIRD IS TO SKINS FOR 'WINAMP' - http://www.davidbeckham.ru/cgi-bin/index.pl

ZULU! - ALL THE LADS LOVE THIS - http://www.kwazulu.co.uk/

STILL BORED?? http://www.i-am-bored.com/

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals

Official Website:
http://www.peta.org

ХОРОШЕЕ ВЕЗЕНИЕ МОИ ДЕТИ!!!!!

BEWARE THE JUDDERMAN MY SON!!

http://www.jabberwocky.com/carroll/jabber/jabberwocky.html

BROKEN LINK??

HELP BY REPORTING BROKEN LINKS TO ME

OUR GARDEN (TAKEN WITH MY CAMERA PHONE RECENTLY)

IF DETLEF IS LOSING HE ARRANGES A DIVERSION

I RESCUED THIS CAT. I'M THAT KIND OF GUY

ME FOX HUNTING IN DORSET IN 2003

MORE FOX PICS FROM 2004 - AMAZINGLY FOX WAS STILL THERE 2 YEARS RUNNING - Foxy.htm

GUINNESS IS A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE - PUBS - Pubs.htm

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A CAT LOVER WHEN... Catlover.htm.htm

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A DOG LOVER WHEN... Doglover.htm.htm

ONE OF THE KINDER THINGS I'VE BEEN CALLED IS 'MR CHRISTMAS' - http://washingtonmo.com/christmas/countdown.htm

WOODY ALLEN: That's quite a lovely Jackson Pollock, isn't it?
GIRL IN MUSEUM: Yes it is.
WOODY ALLEN: What does it say to you?
GIRL IN MUSEUM: It restates the negativeness of the universe, the hideous lonely emptiness of existence, nothingness, the predicament of man forced to live in a barren, godless eternity, like a tiny flame flickering in an immense void, with nothing but waste, horror, and degradation, forming a useless bleak straightjacket in a black absurd cosmos.
WOODY ALLEN: What are you doing Saturday night?
GIRL IN MUSEUM: Committing suicide.
WOODY ALLEN: What about Friday night?
GIRL IN MUSEUM: [leaves silently]